A stone’s-throw from Uptown Whittier, Clearman’s Steak ‘n Stein Inn on Whittier Boulevard in Pico Rivera has been satisfying carnivorous cravings long before Uptown became a hipster foodie destination.

A word of warning; those with strict ethical vegan mothers should stop reading now. Those seriously watching their cholesterol and fat intake; skip to the next article. Still reading? Don’t say you weren’t warned.

This is an old-fashioned, meat-and-potatoes kind of place. The kind of place that sates those primal food instincts lurking in the back of our minds. The primitive part that elicits salivary responses to the smell of fire transforming meat.

Established by serial restaurateur John Foley Clearman in 1946, the Steak ‘n Stein Inn was conceived as more than simply a restaurant, Clearman wanted to provide his diners an experience.

A trained Shakespearean actor, Clearman graduated from Yale in 1929 with a degree in theater and spent the first part of his career with touring productions during the Great Depression. Experiencing an epiphany, Clearman declared, “A good restaurant has a longer run than a good play.”

This inspired the opening of Clearman’s Steak ‘n Stein. The actor went on to open a variety of elaborately and authentically themed restaurants, five of which, under the guidance of the Clearman’s Trust, are entertaining fans until this very day.

“Entertaining” aptly describes the Steak ‘n Stein dining experience. The building itself is a 1940s original, but its architectural design evokes a combination of Bavarian hunting lodge and Mediterranean villa. (It must be seen to be understood.) The interior transports you to another era, one of dark wood, leather and exposed brick. The lighting is dim and intimate, with islands of luminescence.

The service is itself a show, allowing the diner a glimpse of a bygone era. Steak ‘n Stein practices tableside plating, where meals are assembled at your table, to your specifications, from specially designed carts. This is particularly impressive if there is a flambé involved. There is nothing as engrossing as a flaming steak illuminating the darkness.

This takes us to the food. Meat, particularly beef, takes center stage. The ingredients are top quality and intended to be served as rare as you can take it. The menu boldly declares, “We do not recommend cooking steaks past medium as they tend to lose their flavor.”

Feeling hungry; challenge yourself with the Steak ‘n Stein Tomahawk Rib Eye, with its distinctively protruding foot-long rib bone. That’s 34 ounces of beefy goodness, not counting the bone.

There are seafood, chicken and pork selections, but come on, what’s the point, this is a classic steakhouse. (Just sayin’…) When it comes down to it, you get what makes you feel good. This is not an everyday experience. Indulge.

All of the dinners are accompanied by salad, red cabbage (with their own proprietary marinade blend), cheese bread, baked potato and onion rings. You don’t get to choose from among these sides, you get ALL of these sides. An entire stick of butter is provided for your potato.

Don’t just come hungry, your thirst will be addressed in equal measure. As its name implies, Steak ‘n Stein is a seriously legit bar, serving up cocktails in an atmosphere straight out of a set from Mad Men. For readers not in the know, stein is the German word for a large mug, the kind seen at Oktoberfest. Come here every Friday for months and there will still be a drink you haven’t tried.  Try starting off with an Orange Julius Martini.

This is not a hipster restaurant. Catchphrases and buzzwords like locavore, foraged and farm-to-table are not tossed around at the Steak ‘n Stein. The prices reflect the level of service and the incredible volume of quality food, not the rarity or pretentiousness of the ingredients. The food is classic and hearty, created and served to satisfy. There’s nothing subtle here, unless a 34 ounce piece of meat with a huge bone sticking out of it is your idea of subtle.

Come hungry. Come thirsty. Leave satisfied, possibly ashamed. (Did you really finish all of it?!) No one will have to cook and, best of all, you won’t be doing dishes.