Adam & Eve: Advice on Relationships

Quote of the week: “We may love the wrong person or cry for the wrong reason. But one thing is sure, mistakes help us find the right person” – Unknown

How does one maintain a healthy relationship?

Eve: I think I am pretty good at keeping a long healthy relationship. Why you ask? Well, I’ve been with the same guy for about three years now and to us it still feels like we are in the honeymoon stage. So how do we maintain our healthy relationship? Simple, I feel in every relationship you need great communication, trust in each other, mind blowing sex, and last but not least, there has to be honesty. For a healthy relationship, all of these key terms must be met.  Also, make sure you both are mature enough for a relationship.

Adam: There are many factors that can either make or break a relationship. Being in an eight-year relationship was definitely not something I had in mind, but this is what I did:

1.     Be yourself – Don’t pretend you’re someone else! Most guys like to pretend they are these macho attractive dudes who will stop at nothing to get what they want. Fail! Don’t be afraid to show your weaknesses. It will help you out immensely.

2.     Communicate – I always sent out a “Good Morning” Message. Messages help them feel appreciated and if they’re having a bad day, we can be the one’s to change that. Also, if something upsets you, voice yourself! Don’t close yourself to her. She’s not a psychic… well, maybe she is. In that case delete your browser history, fam!

3.     Show affection – Honestly, this is where a lot of guys drop the ball. Don’t be afraid to be the one who kisses her first when you see her. Don’t be afraid to be the one who extends their hand while driving. Don’t think about hugging her. Just do it! Let her know you love and appreciate her.

4.     Be spontaneous – One of the best memories I had with my ex was when we stayed up until 6 a.m., at the beach. Here’s the back story. We were extras for Velvet Revolver’s Fall to Pieces, and we were there from 4 p.m. until 2 a.m. shooting at the Santa Monica Pier. After kicking it with the band, we separated from them and sat on the beach and talked. We talked until sunrise and I dropped her off after that. That’s just one story. Main point here. Be Spontaneous!

5.     Take trips together – Now I know some dudes are going to say, “Hey bro, we don’t have the money!” No excuses! Take little mini trips together. Even if it’s in LA. Make it exotic; make it unique.

6.     Be honest – Honesty is one of those factors that can make or break a relationship. If she pissed you off, tell her. If you don’t feel it anymore, be honest. Don’t drag it on. Main advice. Always follow your heart.

And last but not least:

            7. Have space. Now, why is this last? This is last because I feel this was one of the reasons why my eight-year relationship ended. If you’re doing everything together chances are you will eventually get sick of each other. Also, if you start losing friends because you hang out with your girl too much, that’s a good indication it will soon end. When you two are together make it feel as though you haven’t seen each other in ages. When you’re apart, enjoy the time off to hang with the guys, but don’t play the field.

What are the basic steps of dating?

Eve: I think the first step is actually being friends with one another because you find out how that person truly is when you are friends first. The second step is dating, and during this stage you get to know that person more on an intimate level. Last step is actually becoming a couple, but make sure to date for a while. Don’t just jump into a relationship because 87% of the time it does not work out.

Adam: These are some steps I have found useful:

1.     Have an idea of who/what you want

2.     Have expectations

3.     Become good friends

4.     Date and get to know them (Point of no return)

5.     Stop looking and focus on making a strong foundation

Point of no return: When you date them and figure out if they’re worth moving forward with, or if you should GTFO.

How long do you wait to say I love you?

Eve: I feel when it comes to this point it’s literally all up to the person. I think the first thing is that you have to accept it within yourself and think if you truly are in love. If you accept it then just say it when you are ready. Love is honestly the best feeling some can feel, so don’t be scared to say it and hopefully you will get the three words in return.

Adam: First, find out if it’s love or infatuation.  I dated a girl for a week once and she said it out of nowhere. When she said it I was driving, so I kept my eyes on the road but when we got to a light I looked at her and asked her to define love. She described admiration. We stopped dating shortly after because she “fell in love” with someone else. Haha

Say it when it feels right. When you know it’s valid, and when you know it’s worth making it work.

What are some warning signs the relationship is not working out?

Eve: OMG, I am so tired of hearing people b***h about their partner and then the next day they are all in love again. It’s so annoying people! So in that saying, if you’re constantly on twitter and complaining about how they are not treating you right then it’s time to treat yo self, and move on. Another thing is if they’re constantly fighting or even lying to one another then move on. Lastly, I truly understand it is not easy to break up with someone (I’ve been there plenty of times) but from experience all I can say is it’s hard to fix something when it is already broken.

Adam: Lack of communication is a big one. Another one is when you start lying to one another. Finally, if your gut instinct is giving you red flags, look deep within yourself to try to figure out why. If it’s about to end, do it like a man by telling her the truth. Never cheat. Cheating only makes you a fool.

Adam’s food for thought: There is a theory I enjoy talking about when I’m giving people advice on love. Most people want to find their soul mates so they throw it out to the universe but get upset when they get their hearts broken.

I want you to keep in mind that soul mates are mates who help us grow, help us survive, and teach us lessons that are imperative for us to learn. If your fragile hearts have taken too many beatings, shift your focus on something else. Shift your heart on finding your twin flame.

What is a twin flame?

Just as Adam lost a rib to give life to Eve, our souls in the beginning of time were cut in two. Our challenge is to reunite both souls in order to feel love at it’s fullest.

Now, like every romantic story there is a catch. In each twin flame union there is a chaser and a runner.

My question to you is, which one are you?