We all wander from childhood through adolescence with wide eyes and an open heart. We walk around the neighborhood with friends or a pet, not really taking notice of our minds or the beating organ we carry in our chests. Nothing was ever such a big deal, our worries were scant, and sorrow was unknown in our vocabulary.

The ones who loved us since birth were constantly present to build our character and to help us get through those fragile years. As we grew older, we were candidly told to “grow up,” and to start taking notice of our feelings, thoughts, and surroundings. All of a sudden, we were not allowed to be as carefree and curious as before.

The ones we called friends were suddenly strangers, and what we thought we knew about ourselves were only silver linings. It is unfortunate to think that as we mature, our kindness fades away within the course of the years. When I speak of “kindness,” I speak of innocence; our attitude about the world, our approach on life and how we behave when we interact with others.

Time proved to me that innocence is what we hold so dearly in our early years when we’re the most vulnerable, and it may easily fade without us being aware of it. It is possible, though, to gain it back if we continue to be vulnerable in adulthood. It is true that being vulnerable during your twenties is such a risk since it seems as though everybody is self-absorbed and hard; for that reason, vulnerability may be misunderstood as being weak.

I encourage all to not let that kind of coldness pollute one’s core to the point of apathy. Once that gentleness is lost, a tender soul can become indifferent quite effortlessly. Personally having gone through an apathetic phase myself, I can tell you that it isn’t enjoyable or beneficial whatsoever.

The desire to do the things you once loved is gone, nobody interests you, not even your own reflection promotes a reaction when you take a glance at a mirror. Nights are long and you’re left wondering who the fuck you are. Suddenly, nothing matters anymore.

You mindlessly adapt a reckless persona, and you’d rather be left alone to prevent any harm. Time alone brings you to wonder what is actually real, which feeling is true? It’s all very strange. Consider this: it is logic to think in advance that vulnerability requires a certain level of you exposing your fragmented and contradictory self to someone else, running the risk of getting hurt. Most people turn sad awfully young and evolve into pessimists because they’ve been disillusioned by ones they loved and struggled in the process of figuring themselves out.

Unfortunately, that confusing and painful process is practically inevitable. We all have to face that reality eventually, sometimes even more than once. I’ve been doing some thinking over these past few days, and I came across the thought that through our teenage years and early twenties we meet a lot of temporary people.

It is a gloomy thought that I wish my mind did not come across. To also think that I was a brief being in somebody’s life is quite saddening. If only we could forever keep every “her” and “him” that meant something special to us… The way I think sometimes just isn’t in my control.

Too often I find myself pouring my energies into untangling my thoughts and later curling up in bed like a question mark waiting for an answer. “It’s much easier to not know things sometimes. Things change and friends leave. And life doesn’t stop for anybody.” — Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower.

This particular film taught me the importance of having good people around: as friends, as a lover, or as motivating companions. Individuals that will lend an ear and love you for you no matter how fucked up you are inside. The main character in this film, Charlie, quietly suffered from anxiety and was extremely awkward, all of which impeded him to take initiative in making friends.

Luckily, though, he built the courage to sit next to Patrick and Sam at a school’s football game and these three soon became the best of friends. Charlie found a piece of himself in the few months he spent getting to know Patrick and Sam. They loved him and made him feel accepted.

Sometimes, it is vital to have somebody else be concerned for our well-being and happiness. When we can’t manage to discover it on our own, it may be more important to have someone like that in our lives; however, we must keep in mind that circumstances change and we shouldn’t get so attached. If you really think about it, it’s as if each entity that we allow to get close and be a friend is a world not born until they have arrived.

They are a representation of someone we’ve yet to discover in ourselves, and it is not until this meeting that a new world comes to life. I’d say that it is only when my world lacks passion and is kept shut so tight that growing up feels like such a drag. Perhaps I’m just over my head. Well, getting out of my head is key in understanding this.

A dark situation is in fact neutral nearly every time, if we become aware of the thoughts we are thinking and learn to separate them from actuality. Add to that people who inspire and spark your curiosity and you will find yourself in a much better place. You’ll soon be on your way to believing in yourself and that you are valuable. In consequence of all those good vibes, you will work towards your dreams which are never too far.